Adventures in Culture and Travel

06 December, 2011

Tijuana Donkey Show

A typical Mexican donkey show.
What is the Tijuana Donkey Show you ask? You're thinking "Hey, I've been to Tijuana", I love their Papas & Beer, "It has got to involve cute little donkeys, happy little funny speaking Mexicans, and they put on a show right?" Sort of like the Mexican version of Shrek?

WRONG!

So what is it, you may be wondering? Unlike the Broadway musical of Les Mulerable where the lead sings "Don't Cry for Me, Donkey Penis", the "authentico" version usually is held in a dirt floor bar or "discoteca" (a dance floor) where patrons are taxi-cabbed in, (the cabbies get a cut)  and then are enticed to purchase large amounts of cerveza (beer) or gamble, while waiting for the "main event" of a beautiful, scantly clad Latina woman (not to mention handsomely paid) arousing a restrained donkey lying on its back. (Vegas has a similar scam with Celine Dion) It's not exactly Sesame Street on Ice, and is more along the lines of Debbie Does Dallas. Just replace the Dallas with a Donkey and you get the picture.

To be more precise, outside of "conservative" America, where people don't go walking around with Bibles up their return air supplies, there is a type of entertainment called burlesque. This Mexican version, called "burlesco", is perhaps some of the raunchiest, grotesque theatrical shows in the world. The "Donkey Show" makes Moulan Rouge, and the original "Hoochie Coochie" seem like Sunday sermons in comparison.

Apparently the concept has existed in many different forms for at least 25 years. Various other forms of animals have been used in lieu of a donkey, but none of them has captured the American tourist's drunk imagination like the original Donkey Show of Tijuana. In a town which has done so much to help America lose its virginity, what are a few chromosomes of difference between species, really?

Women's night is every night.
But apparently the "real" show isn't in Tijuana. Tijuana is merely a con, or a scam for wiley Mexicans making a quick buck off ignorant tourists . While the original show is still performed daily in prostitution legal, Boy's Town, (La Zona Rosa [The Red Light District] of Nuevo Laredo), Mexico which has far less stringent policia restrictions than the reputation protected Tijuana which attracts thousands of American tourists daily. Gullible tourists likely often believe that "true" donkey shows are performed in Tijuana, because of the pop culture references in movies and TV which lead to the popularity of the phrase.  You may just be strolling around T.J. with ten tequila shots to the wind, taco con carnitas in hand, when a  cab driver entices you and your friends to a real life Donkey Show. Your first thought is... "Hey I remember something about that in a movie", "sure". So you pile into the cab, and not knowing exactly where you're being taken, and it's too late when the cabbie pulls down a narrow alley and you're robbed by a band of Mexican muggers. Worse yet, there are stories of unwilling American tourists who go in search of the Donkey Show in Boy's Town, and end up becoming part of the show itself in the fashion of 'Girls gone Wild".
Gaps in the Zona Rosa Perimeter.

Patron's of the bar started cheering burro, burro, burro as they dragged me to the stage, stripped, and bound to the dance pole with rope in a fashion so the donkey could perform its show unhindered.

The argument has been made that the Tijuana version of the Donkey Show is but a metaphor for the dumb-"donkey like" Americans who come to Mexico in search of the elusive pop-culture entertainment phenomenon.

Due to the popularity, as a tourist attraction, many legit, and clean bars and discotecas now feature variety shows, or contests by the same name and may be suggestive in nature, (like simulating arousal using a beer bottle as a prop) but do not contain the graphic nature of the more perverse kind.

The Tijuana Donkey Show Video:

I assume this is one of the cantina operator attempting to wrangle in his unit:




Urban Legend or Truth? You decide...

If you really want to see it... the real thing... Google "zoofilia con burro" which I highly recommend against if you wish to retain your eyesight.